I've just rediscovered my love for puppets and kid's TV shows. Bagpuss, clangers, wombles, rainbow, sooty and sweep show are a few to list. Also, I keep flicking through Icanhascheezburger.com because these LOLCATS are hilarious!
School finishes in less than a month. Exams a month and a bit and I really need to get a move on with work.
I want this. Despite numerous gremlins items I own, I keep wanting more. I'm not necessarily a big spender but when it comes to charater merchandise and one of a kind weird things, I just have to buy it. Particularly anything with Gizmo on it. Yesterday I found a Gizmo rucksack in a toyshop in camden and had to buy it despite its demented face and the fact its marketed for 5 year olds. This is the collection doll I'm wanting which is pretty rare. I already own a million other Gizmo toys, but my excuse for wanting this one is that he is standing up. (My other Gizmo toys involve him sitting down, requiring batteries or not looking as 'real as the real Gizmo)








I can't wait till I go to Japan so I can buy more collecters stuff.

Things are looking a bit brighter?

Baby's face on the moon.

Oh the irony. The art school I was ranting about in my previous entry, I got accepted into. Of course, I will take the offer but I have no intention of carrying it on to a degree. I want to do a degree that will involve a job in actually being useful, rather than self indulgently doing something that takes me nowhere and is of no use to myself or anyone.

I am thinking of going into psychology. I have always been interested in the subject and I have found myself analysing and giving theories over people's behaviours all the time. I got an A in my psychology exam to much to my teacher and class' suprise (I had not revised or given in a single practice paper) but somehow I managed to get an A by applying my personal knowledge to the questions.

My exam results have really boosted my confidence in concentrating on my A levels now. Whereas before I was working towards C's and D's (yes, I had been lazy last year haha), I am working towards A's and B's which has proved to myself and teachers that I have overcome my lazy passive attitude!

I also like the fact it is incredibly sunny. I spent most of yesterday in the park.

WOW. this entry was boring.

Snobby pretentious art schools

I applied to Central St Martins, one of the most renowned art schools, to undertake an art foundation. I had my interview and portfolio review the other day.

I have always been quite hesistant over the idea of taking 'Art' as an educational route. Because in the end, there is no possible way you can measure and determine how good a piece of art is. It is purely a matter of personal taste and opinion rather than a fact. The idea you can get grades for it is ridiculous. Having a qualification in art does not necessarily mean you are a good artist nor does it guarantee you with a succesful career in art. (In most cases, most people with art degrees end up working in low wage jobs or end up taking another qualification). There is the arguement that a qualification in art teaches you the basic skills in drawing and paiting, but I know for a fact it does'nt. No art teacher teaches the skill unless you booked special lessons on how to draw or paint. You are left to develop your own style.

I also dislike this new wave of "artists". An "artist" is our new "exception", a common synonym for "excuse." An "artist" is the prototype for the shit magnet, it seems everyone is an "artist" nowadays. Most people I know of who are 'into art' can't draw to save their lives. I'm not saying that it is a requirement as an artist to be able to draw exeptionally well, but you would think someone who was genuinely interested in art since their childhood will be able to draw to some extent, because I would assume you must have practiced in your spare time. Some people draw like they've never drawn in their lives. The excuse that 'Picasso can't draw' is bullshit because many artists who drew simplified art have in fact mastered how to draw and paint well. Art Students in general consist of prentious middle class kids who wearexpensive and 'unique' clothes. They can afford to laze around because they have the money to do so. Many have very little talent and even fewer brain cells who smoke weed all day because it 'expands their minds' but the generic art they produce suggests otherwise. It seems now, art students go to college with the idea of becoming rich and famous like their idols Emin and Damien Hirst, to act like rock stars instead of aspiring to artistic excellence through a tangible medium.


It was only until my interview did it confirm for me that the stereotypically prententious and snobby image I held of art schools was actually real. I had my portfolio laid out against 3 other applicants. 1 of these applicants had a portfolio that mainly consisted of pieces of papers with thick blobs of paint on them. Another girl had a photograph of her 'conceptual' art, which was basically empty cartons of ribena binded together by straws. As much as it annoyed me, I overlooked it and presumed that their portfolios would also have drawings and paintings. Things that actually TAKE SKILL. Sadly it did'nt. The art teachers absolutely LOVED their work. It was pretty evident that they favoured their work over mine which is what I found ridiculous. Each page of my portfolio took at least a day or 2 to make whilst their art required no skill whatsoever. The reason the art teachers absolutely loved them was because they were so confident, they could talk so openly about the infuluences for their art and had many sketchbooks filled with pictures from magazines and self analytical writing that showed their 'development' towards their art. Meanwhile I was too shy and awkward and I was even embarassed showcasing my artwork to them. I felt so exposed because my artwork is so personal to me. I have no 'development' work. I have a few doodles and observational drawings, but most of the time when I create art, I paint directly what came to my mind. I don't spend hours writing evidence and justifiations towards my artwork. In the end, the final product is the art piece and nobody gives a shit about the thought behind it. For me, my art work is open to be interpreted by others, not a medium where I force my beliefs onto someone.
It seems now, 'ART' consists of somebody taking a photo of their shoes, clothes, themselves and then photoshoping it through a filter. 'ART' is sticking a banana on a wall and attempting to give it a deeper meaning despite it being purely superficial. Art is what happens when you are casually applauded and celebrated. Art is casually mentioning Fauvism before a sip of your sin-black coffee and a drag of a spliff. Art is a video installation or a machine that produces foam in the middle of a room. Art is about making a generic statement rather than reflecting something personal.

Whatever happened to people who do art as a hobby or out of interest? Whatever happened to the people who spent hours using their free time to draw in their sketchbooks rather than just save doing art of school/homework? Whatever happened to people who did art as a private thing or as a personal expression? I probably only know of a few people like me who are embarassed at showcasing their artwork because t is so personal. I don't mind doing it over the internet because I won't know how people react but in real life, I have never shown anyone my skethbooks. Most people very openly say 'Wanna look at my sketch book? its soooo personal" but its more a means of showing off rather than actually meaning anything. It is a shame that 90% of the art student population are only interested in creating art in an attempt to publish it in VICE or DAZED AND CONFUSED magazine.

My interview eventually turned into a an arguement. They made me feel completely clueless and daft because I lacked the ability to smooth talk like my competetors. I found it contradictory that they claim they are open to people from 'all sorts of diversities and personalities with different styles in art' yet they expected a generic portfolio from everyone 'wheres the development?' 'wheres the
life drawing?' 'wheres the evidence?' and favoured the highly confident yet artistically lacking people over the people with genuine skill or talent. Of course, I can accept that not everybody will like my style and concepts in art, but I know for a fact I have the skill to at least draw and paint to a good standard unlike those half hearted idiots.

I've now decided that I will keep art as a hobby. Something I do for myself. I don't need a qualification telling me I passed and most of the time, making art into an eduation stifles creativity. You have to produce art according to what the teachers want and the work load makes you associate art with something stressful rather than something enjoyable. Particularly in this society where art is mostly pretencious and high brow I don't want to be a part of it.

Pinch, Punch, First day of the month!

Technically not because it is now 3.5 hours into the 2nd of March here in the UK.

I am up late, procrastinating over a long overdue art essay.


But I am a little ball of bouncing energy! The evenings slowly becoming brighter and the weather becoming warmer is a sign of the coming spring. All of a sudden, joyful thoughts have relenquished at the thought that school will soon be over and a long break is ahead!!
I cannot help but daydream..the date I will be going to Japan is the 1st of July. I am so incredibly excited!!!I can not help but run around and squeal like a child at the thought of it. My stay will only be for a month, it is ashame, as all the festivals take place in August, but I have to be back in England by then for exam results..(and also because we booked the tickets too late)

I must admit, I absoltuely love airports and aeroplanes. In fact, I look forward to being at the airport and travelling on the plane just as much as reaching the destination itself. Sad as it is, I even enjoy the journey on the motorway towards the airport. I seem to love long journeys. It is a nice time to reflect and think. A nice excuse to daydream and watch the world go by. It's interesting to watch the landsape grow and shrink from overcrowded industrial places to flat green argicultural land. In fact, I love the whole process. I love packing bags and suitcases, checking tickets and passports, the act of carrying around luggage is even exciting!

I presume most people find my love for airports odd, as they associate airports with being stressed and irratated. With long ques and administerating. But for some reason, I love the general energy airports seem to emit. Its the centrepoint for the crossing of people from all walks of life. It is a transient place where people come and go. Its the feeling of excitement of going to a new destination and the feeling of comfort and slight dissapoint when going home.

I love the nervousness you feel when you have to see the relatives you have'nt seen for so many years. What I particularly love about reaching Japan is the fact that they have an odd restraunt in the middle of nowhere every half a mile down the motorway. There are half a dozen sign posts advertising the restraunts as you go along. I usually have my first taste of japanese food at one of these restraunts.

Ahhhh! I am too exicted! I can feel tears flooding donw my eyes now, it has been far too long a wait. This is such a melodramatic entry, but I cannot contain myself!

Eeep!

I am painting a collection of dog portraits. I am attempting to elavate dogs by placing them in a classically humanistic environment.

(Booking tickets to Japan today!

I am incredibly excited!)

Spring has dawn. I can hear the birds chirping and the trees start to flower. The sky is a looking a little brighter.

I have also deleted my Facebook account in a fury of anger.

Back to school tommorow. Back to the swarm of middle class clones with their nasal voices and handbags. 8 more school weeks and Year 13 will be over. It's almost Spring.

Emanating swirls

I am currently working on this piece. At the moment I am working on a collection of portraits of people that emanate strange spirals from the centre, creating a sort of hypnotic mass of entangled energy. Interestingly I read an article the other day about how geomagnetic forcefields in the earth could be the cause for depression and suicide amongst people. It is theorised that these geomagnetic waves (from the core of the earth) can affect serotonin levels in humans and is responsible for about 20% of the causes of brain imbalances. The difference between humans and animals is that they can sense these waves (hence the reason they act strangely before earthquakes) but we cannot sense them. Perhaps the swirls in my painting could be geomagnetic waves infiltrating the minds of my subjects?
I can't stand art that requires a long narrative to go with it...why am I trying to provide and explanation for this? I did it out of impulse!

Get off Facebook

I have just woken up to check through my emails and facebook account. Everytime I log onto the wretched thing, I end up leaving incredibly annoyed. I am teetering on the edge of deleting my facebook account. There are several reasons for this.

Firstly, I am not incredibly comfortable with the idea of Facebook using my personal information to cater to advertisements on the side of my browser. Who knows what else they are capable of? The power!!

Secondly, I dislike how credulous people are to believe that everything I do on Facebook, is the truth. As a test, I once decided to 'end an relationship' with my boyfriend, and the next day I had people asking me if I really did split up with him because 'facebook told them'. It seems to be the only medium people think they can 'get gossip' from.

Thirdly, I have no use for the damn thing. It is supposedly a place for 'connecting with friends', but I find that people (well teenagers of my age) are using it as a means of boosting their social status and posing. I never have people actually contacting me. My 'friends' mostly consist of people at school or college that I see everyday but barely talk to.

Whenever I log on, I receive updates about another photo album somebody has uploaded. Usually they are dressed in 'fashionable' clothes and make up, posing at contorted angles and then photoshopping it to make it look somewhat 'proffessional'. I'm sure they think they look fantastic but in my opinion I really question what they do in their spare time. Does their life really revolve around staging photos of themselves just so they can upload it onto facebook and show how 'fashionable' and 'arty' they are? I have to admit, they do look quite interesting in their photos but knowing them in real life without the facade and great lighting and flash, they are in fact incredibly boring, untalented, ugly and not incredibly individual. How many girls do I need to see wearing gold chains, checked shirts, wet look leggings, ribbons, hoop earrings and large belts? You look like a sea of clones with vacant minds.

Some people use it as a means of 'showing off' their social life/possesions. I have known many a people, whom, a few weeks after dating their boyfriend/girlfriend, upload an album filled with several dozen photos of themselves, cozied up, kissing, hugging. I get the point already. Your 'in love'. To me, it makes me question whether they actually love their partners or whether its more a means to show off and hide their insecurities. I do not say this out of bitterness, I already have a (secret) partner of almost a year. But I have never felt the need to resort to such measures. I actually thought of doing this myself to prove a point but I felt too embarassed purposefully posing for the sake of the cameras. There is also the parties. They will tag themselves in a million photos on their drunken nights out, add people they met once at a party just so they can appear incredibly sociable and ask 'So how did last night go? Got home alright?'. They will comment on their own photos 'OMG, tottally smashed' and often provide photographic evidence of their drug consuption such as close up of spliffs and pills. They often use facebook as a way of promoting gossip about themselves through status updates such as 'Insert name here..is tottally tired from all of last nights partying'. I get the point, you have 'social lives' like everyone else does....wooooo, your really cool and the fact you feel the need to provide evidence for this is soo cool!

Hence my rant above explains why le Facebook annoys me incredibly. The fact I do not partake in the above activities makes people believe that I have no life or sense in fashion, because I do not have a million photos of myself doing these things. I apologise that I do not carry a camera around everywhere I go, I would rather just get on with life and not have to publish every single activity I engaged in on Facebook.

Greetings

fellow earthlings. I have decided that I wish to use this site for the purpose of publishing my art. And also writing a few ponderings/wanderings/thingymabobs upon occasion. Perhaps this could document my ever so exciting life. Actually it was seeing Tara, my buissness woman friend set up an account that tempted me into creating one. Social networking sites really are'nt a favourable medium to upload art onto.

I must go and exercise. It is almost midnight and my body is burning to release some energy.